...12 Kilometers to the Worlds largets Piece of Wood....

So, you are traveling down the road. Fast, you do not know how fast, but lets just say you snapped your seatbelt about 8 kilometers back when you saw your life flash before your eyes, when you were so rudely awakened from your slumber as you slammed into the back of the seat in front of you. It was not that bad really, not when you consider what happened to that poor old lady.... Just kidding.

Anyway, you are heading to an old time village, are you excited? Not anymore than usual, is that not what you have been checking out for the past week? It is interesting, but what is up with the 1 1/2 hour ride to get there? THEN, you realize. You are not just going to a set old time village; you are going to see THE WORLDS LARGEST PIECE OF WOOD. It is true. I know, you think, well there could be larger pieces… no my friend, not if the Guinness Book of World Records has approved it, and OH YEAH, they did.

You think I am being sarcastic, right? Nope, I am over the top seriously amazed at this. I thought the tourists trap was an American invention. I hardly expected to see such a wondrous thing in the boondocks of Europe, but hark! There it is. And hark one step further, because there is a picture of Lech Walesa helping to cut it. Oh no my friends, this is no small deed, this is the real deal.

Then, imagine your surprise, when you realize that a large, sorry, the World’s largest piece of wood is not all this place holds for you. No, no. That Russian History class you took last term is finally going to come in handy as you step into what was once an exiled Polish family’s home in Siberia. Freaking Stalin you say to yourself, as your excitement takes a turn to the downfall side of the scale. Being in that kind of history is incredibly interesting, but it just does not hold the happiness factor for you that the piece of wood did.

We will fall just a step further into our suppressed history geek excitement as we step onto a sample train, modeled after those, which transported the Polish to Russian work camps. At this point, we will smile at our friend Mandy, because after enduring that most painful Russian history textbook, you actually know everything the tour guide, and the oh so lovely Wlodig (pronounced Vood-dic), are currently telling you. After a quick praise of the great Bobert Shephard, and a quick historical overview with your buddy, you descend from the train.

AND THERE IT IS. You had heard rumors throughout the walk. Mentions of its existence as you trekked through the village, but you really just assumed they had messed up and printed the house upside down in the brochure, these things happen… BUT NO! Not at all. THERE IT IS! An upside down house. No, you had not drank too much of the ‘salt’ water earlier, or taken in too much sun while at the beach. It is actually there in all its magnificence, and guess what? You get to go in it. Yup, yup. For sure madam, step right in and prepare to be dizzy. Woo woo.

There is the feeling. There are slanted floors; you are bending towards the floors just to stay even with the ground, a TV is attached to the ceiling, and really well done paintings convey the significance of the house upstairs… or downstairs if you care to play along. The meaning of the house, by the way is that the world can be changed, turned upside down if you will, if only the people will it. A point the house gets across quite excellently, perhaps to the point that you agree with the tour guide, one should be placed in every capital on earth… Or maybe you just really want one of these this in America.

Magnificence. Everything you ever looked forward to when you had those dreams of living in a shoe, (just like the little old lady’s), and more. The house really messes you up, as you trip around and try to capture its awesomeness on film. Impossible really, you will just have to try to put it into words later. Good luck, conveying its greatness to those back home will be near impossible. Perhaps you could explain it like this… The Statue of Liberty goes out with the Worlds largest Bouncy Ball, they watch the Wizard of Oz together. Here is there baby. Or, you could just say, it was clever and really neato :)

After a quick stop at the church located in the ‘village,’ which honors the Polish who faced the Russian atrocities earlier mentioned, you snap a picture with the cardboard Bison, and head on your way. The Gofr (waffle) from earlier was delicious, but you are ready for some coleslaw, pork and potatoes. No, you are not so hungry you will eat anything. You are just really beginning to like the Polish cuisine. I believe Kimmy has already carried the story from here. ;)

-Kristin